Tuesday, February 15

18 things I'll admit to.

I read this article a few weeks ago and it's just been running through my head since then.

18 true things moms don't want to admit (edited to list the ones that apply to Stephanie)

1. You Don't Bathe Your Kid Nearly Enough

The pediatrician recommends bathing the baby every few days or so, but a week goes by and the closest you’ve come is wiping the spit-up off his chin with a moist cloth. You tell yourself he’s a lump (albeit an incredibly cute one) who barely moves -- he’s not exactly sweating. Besides, it’s probably been more than a few days since you showered

2.You Let Her Lay in Her Bed Crying Way Too Long While You Do What You Need To Do

With so little time to get anything done for yourself, those moments when the baby is miraculously occupied by her own fingers and toes are precious. Naturally, you rush to the computer. Just as you’re getting started, she’s already whimpering. You tell yourself it’s not real crying, but she gets louder. You’re determined to get this done now so you can give her your full attention in a sec. But before you can finish, she’s shrieking. Why even bother trying?

Yes, that is Finley you hear crying even as I'm writing this.

3.You Lie to Him All the Time

You like the idea of being honest with your child, but sometimes the truth is, if we may borrow Al Gore’s favorite word, inconvenient. So you tell your child the shoe store doesn't have the wheeled shoes that light up in his size when you know they do, that Daddy ate the last brownie (when, clearly, you did), that the toy store is closed, that the shot won’t hurt, that the DVD player is “tired,” and pretty soon you’re lying as often as, well, a politician.

It's not all the time but I am getting really good at coming up with "stories"

4.You Love the Baby More Than the Older Kid

Favoring one kid over the other is something you never imagined you would do, but the baby is such a little love bug. She’s so innocent and unmanipulative, and unlike the big one, she lets you smother her with kisses. Of course you don’t love her more, but sometimes, as hilarious and clever as the older one is, it’s just easier to deal with the less complex kid.

5.You Think Playing With Your Child Is Really Boring

You’ve just played “teenager” or “doggie” or whatever else you’re kid is obsessed with for the past hour, and he still isn’t sick of it. At this point, you would seriously rather clean the bathroom than go through another round of the game. How can you love your children so much yet be so entirely uninterested in the games they want to play? Here’s something that will get you in the mood: Ten years from now, when they want absolutely nothing do to with you that doesn’t involve you giving them cash, you’ll be begging them to play choo-choos!

7.You Leave Her Locked in the Car While You Run Into the House to Pee or Get Something You Forgot

It’s cruel to leave a dog locked in a car -- but is it cruel to do so with a child? In your book, running inside the house to grab a forgotten something (especially for the kid!) is appropriate. So is having a quick tinkle. Running into a store? That’s where you draw the line.

Although I have left them in the car at the dry cleaners and at the gas station. It was to get a drink and I could see them the whole time. And I left the car on as a signal to everyone else that I didn't forget they were there nor was I being mean leaving them in a hot car. Yes, I'm horrible.

8.You use TV as a Babysitter Way Too Often

Before you became a parent, you vowed your child wouldn’t watch TV. Now suddenly here you are asking your child why she doesn’t want to watch Curious George and trying to convince her it’s her favorite episode. It’s sad. It really is. But tomorrow is another day -- you can always renew your vows.

I'd never get anything done (even a shower) without the tv.

9.You Would Rather Sleep, Sometimes Even Work, Than Be With Your Children

Weekends used to be these amazing stretches of time when you didn’t have any obligations. These days, weekends seem almost harder than workdays. Yes, you are excited about having the free time with your children, but you also panic a little about how you are going to fill all of it. And then there is the deep longing for sleep. Saturday morning, your kids are climbing all over you, and you are blatantly ignoring them, allowing yourself to linger just a few more minutes in that haze between sleep and wakefulness. You were having such a good dream before a cute little person kneed you in the back -- that you were single, without kids.

It's really, really hard to want to be with them when Els didn't go to bed until 11:00 and then Fin was up at 12:30 and 3:00. Then at 5:30 she needed her bottle and Els was up for the day at 7. Yeah, I"m not too eager to see them today.

11. You Give Them Food You'd Never Eat Yourself

You eat grilled chicken strips over a bed of greens. They eat chicken nuggets. You have fresh fruit. They have flat sticky crap that’s rolled up in plastic. You have regular milk. They have chocolate milk. But hey, at least they're eating.

Eliot only survives on chicken nuggets and mac and cheese.

13.You Let Her Go Days Without Vegetables

You are perfectly aware of how important vegetables are for your kid’s health, but you’ve done all you can -- and the kid still won’t touch them. And honestly, you don’t like them much, either. So, you decide to drop the veggie charade. Heck, life is short, so you’re not going to waste time making everyone miserable. Of course, two days later, there you are again, trying to sneak some broccoli into the marinara.

What's a vegetable?

17.You Forget to Put the Kid’s Car-Seat Belt On

Getting out the door with kids always feels like a major accomplishment, so once you’re finally in the car, you want to turn on the ignition and go. That said, every mom jumps the gun at least once. If it hasn’t already happened to you, one day, you just may get to the end of your block, only to hear a familiar little voice scolding you: "Mom! You forgot to buckle me!" OMG! You will urgently pull over, buckle up the kid (who is loving this a little too much), and take a guilty look around to make sure there are no cops waiting to haul you away for being the worst mom ever.


Lori said...

Hahahaha. I'm still laughing, probably because I can relate to every single one of those because I do them too. Well, not yet with the baby since it's not here yet, but I'm sure I will. Thanks for sharing and making me smile. :-)

moosh in indy. said...


I could come up with a lot more than 18. But...let's leave it at 18 before I come up with another 18 and then on #36 I say that I will never make a list of things I wouldn't do as a mom.

My kid? Won't eat chicken nuggets, where did I go wrong?