I hate everyone.

Dear Doctor,

When I come in for my appointment, would you mind telling me that I'm more dilated than I was last week? I don't care if it's not true. LIE. I would rather go through this next week feeling like I've made some progress.

Also, when I ask for help with my sciatica, would you please give me some options besides stretching or Codeine? I feel like maybe there should be some middle ground. Maybe induced labor?

Finally, would you please tell my baby that I'm over this whole pregnancy thing. Maybe you can talk some sense in to her. My previous plea has had no response.

Thanks.

PS- If I have to see you for next week's checkup, please understand if I want to punch you.