Thursday, February 4

I Can't Do It

It's not going to work. Last time I was pregnant, I had a hard time being sick. This time, it's as if I've lost all my mental toughness. Each night during those dreaded minutes between Eliot destroying my last nerve and Tyler's return home, I have a mini panic attack. I can't be sick for another month. I just can't do it. There's no light. It's gone. Gone the way of the sweet things I used to love that now make me cringe. I even threw away a brownie last week. I almost cried.

I printed out a calendar from 2007 (when I was last pregnant) and tried to recreate my sick days. I know I was sick at my two month doctor appointment and then again at three and a half month with food poisoning. Other than that? I don't know how long I was sick. I can't remember. If only I had an end point. If someone said that by March 5 I would be all done being sick I would cry. Then I'd buck up knowing that I'm not going to feel this forever.

I know this is part of the beautiful process of life. It's a lie. This is not beautiful. This is torture. And isn't/aren't the _________ (insert any pregnancy symptom/side effect) already enough?


Robyn said...

From a Bona Fide Pharmacist: ;) Have you tried ginger? Make a tea by boiling a slice or two of fresh ginger in water, and sweeten with honey. Or buy candied ginger from the store and eat in small amounts. Also take your vitamins, especially B vitamins!

Bethany said...

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!! I am so sorry!

moosh in indy. said...

Heh. I got nothing for you except a knowing nod.
You know it has a name right?
Sometimes having a fancy name to go along with your sickness makes it better.
At least it did for me.

moosh in indy. said...

Also? Total assvice?
Cola Syrup.

That's all I'm offering. It doesn't cure. But it helps for about fifteen minutes.

ty and megs said...

so sorry steph! i know how you feel. the sickness memories are still really fresh. i hope it goes away soon.
congrats on #2, even if that's the last thing you want to hear right now. :)