Medically Necessary

Do you know how hard it is to talk your OB into inducing you? Me either... because I haven't succeeded in doing so yet.

For me to tell this story, I have to go back a little ways.

Last Friday.

Had dr. appointment with my fav doc. She measured me and found that I wasn't dilated any more than previous weeks. I asked her to strip my membranes. She said she would 'cause I was 39 weeks and she's cool like that. Then she said if it didn't work, I could come into the hospital while she was on call this next week and fake some contractions so they'd get me induced.

Today. Wednesday.

Scheduled my appointment earlier than my "suggested" due date because I want to get this show on the road. Had appointment with nurse practitioner whom I've never seen before. Stripped my membranes again. Informed me that the hospital schedules the inductions and they typically won't do it until 40 weeks and 5 DAYS!!! I told her that was TOO long. She said unless it was medically necessary. I told her I'd make it medically necessary. She said she'd call and see what they would do.

Still today.

Called office to leave message for fav doc. Maybe she'll work some magic and get me in. Tried telling triage nurse (aka message deliverer) all the reasons why I NEED this to happen sooner: not having contractions like I was last week, soooo uncomfortable, haven't dilated any more in the past month, I've hit the 200 pound mark, I refuse to deliver a 10 pound baby (those last two weren't included but maybe they would have strengthened my weak argument).

Although I love my doctor's office, I'm starting to see the downside of not having one OB but seven. If I had one, I'm sure I could whine enough and get this to work. Trying to convince someone who has only seen you a few times isn't as easy.

I'm starting to consider going to see a reflexologist. Maybe I'll even drink that castor oil (probably not). I refuse to have diarrhea on the delivery table.

Because the baby hasn't come yet...

I've found and finished a project.

Els calls it her dolphin house.

It was Tyler's sister's house when she was little.

It needed a bit of color.

And lots of scrapbook paper. I tried to get it to stick with Mod Podge (too wrinkled), spray adhesive (not permanent enough), and finally, super glue. No way my two year old is going to pick anything off this house!

The furniture got a nice new coat of paint.

And now the dolphin house is ready to go.

I hate everyone.

Dear Doctor,

When I come in for my appointment, would you mind telling me that I'm more dilated than I was last week? I don't care if it's not true. LIE. I would rather go through this next week feeling like I've made some progress.

Also, when I ask for help with my sciatica, would you please give me some options besides stretching or Codeine? I feel like maybe there should be some middle ground. Maybe induced labor?

Finally, would you please tell my baby that I'm over this whole pregnancy thing. Maybe you can talk some sense in to her. My previous plea has had no response.

Thanks.

PS- If I have to see you for next week's checkup, please understand if I want to punch you.

Notice of Eviction

Dear baby,

I really feel like you are taking advantage of me.

Would you mind coming out so that we can talk about this face to face?

Thanks.

45 lbs +

When are you due?

My "official" due date is in 32 days.

that seems WAY too long for me.

My "it could happen" date is in 22 days.

10 days early... aka how early Eliot arrived.

My "I'm a positive thinker and I believe that the mind

can make anything happen" date is in 11 days.

baby will be 37 weeks.

Please forgive me if you ask me when I'm due and I give you some random number.

If I'm feeling HUGE, I'll tell you I'm due sooner.

If I want you to feel sorry for me, I'll tell you my real date.

If you're the stupid guy at the grocery store, you'll take away my ability to lie by saying, "I would ask you when you're due but I think it's more appropriate to ask you how far past you are." thanks guy. thanks.

Okay. Now it's too fast.

I really wanted to be done being pregnant. Now I'm not sure I can handle what comes after... or what I have to do as it gets close.

Don't get me wrong. I am absolutely miserable. It's 105 outside (at 9 am) and I cannot do more than one errand before being so pooped that we HAVE to head home. Sad thing is that I still have errands to run. I don't know how I'm going to do it.

I feel like I've been hit in the crotch with a baseball bat and someone is constantly playing the "I'm not touching you" game with their knees in my stomach.

Poor Eliot has had to watch TV for entertainment. She has now seen EVERY episode of Dora, Wonder Pets, and an occasional Olivia or Blue's Clues. I'm sure she's in heaven. I don't even care about being a good mom at this point.

I've lost my appetite. I still feel the need to make dinner but I don't eat it.

I'm feeling extremely anxious about how I'm going to schedule having cutely painted toes for my delivery. I know this is dumb, but how do you get a pedicure early enough but then have it last so it still looks cute when you have the baby?

I have the same issue with book reading. If I put a book on hold at the library, I can only have it for three weeks. How do I schedule those three weeks so they fall during my time while I'm in the recovery room at the hospital?

On a side note, we bought Eliot's big-girl bunk bed and put it together last weekend. I wasn't planning on having her sleep in it until well after the baby was born but she's had different plans. Since it's been assembled, she's slept in it every night. She starts out in it and then wants to get in her crib, but eventually ends up in the bed. My baby isn't in her crib anymore. She's getting so big. It makes me sad.

What if I don't love the new baby like I love Eliot? What if I love the new baby more?

I should have learned

the first time, that after five months of pregnancy, I'm not allowed to do anything. Everything that can be done, will, in fact, turn into something that has nothing to do with my original intention. And I will be drawn into a downward spiral of hormone-driven nesting that would make only a crazy person proud.

Exhibit 1:

It's WAY too hot to do anything here except go to the pool. However, I decided that today we would get up and venture to Costco. After expending all my lacking pregnancy energy and getting both the groceries and the two year old back into the house, I then had to put away the groceries. Which meant that I had to organize the pantry. And then vacuum the floor under the shelves. And then (since I was already at it and it had been on my list for like 5 minutes) vacuum out the drawers. And then, if I hadn't stopped myself, I would have moved on to the blinds. Because, come on, no one likes to see the dust that's accumulated on top of every single of of those flat surfaces. I'm hoping the urge to clean those will just go away.

Exhibit 2:

I was trying to paint my toenails. I was sitting on the floor. I looked over and noticed the baseboards STILL needed to be repainted from when we had our floors redone in Jan. I'd already purchased the paint so I decided to just go ahead and get started... it didn't seem to matter that I could hardly get to the ground, let alone spend more than five minutes there, trying to fix something that didn't matter. So after I had finished painting one wall, I realized that the baseboards were very dirty. So before I could go on I had to wipe them all down. And while I was wiping them down in the bathroom, I realized that I hadn't wiped around the base of the toilet in a long time... and on it went until I got every pressing issue completed.

Exhibit 3:

June of 2008 I had this baby. And now this baby has lots of poopy diapers that she likes to take off by herself. And since I had this baby, and she takes off her diapers, and the diapers don't hold poo when they're being flung around like a dead lizard in a cat's mouth (don't ask about that one), I got to clean up the scattered poo. And then, since I was occupied with the fecal incident, the child wanted to keep herself busy, and so she headed to the bathroom. And in the bathroom, she found all the fun things, that make wonderful, hard-to-clean messes, just for mommy...

And then, somewhere I decided it would be a good idea to have a second child. It's like the ultimate continuation of a never-ending project. I've been seriously considering how to get my full-time mom position to a part-time one. Do you think someone would be willing to fire me? Please? Just for a minute. Or two weeks. Or until I'm not pregnant anymore.

And speaking of not being pregnant. Who decided ten months was the necessary gestational time? How about eight? That way I can be done next week and I can get back to being the only one responsible for my weight gain (or loss as I hope it will be) and I won't be quite as hot and my boobs won't be overflowing out of a bra that I absolutely REFUSE to replace for the last two months of pregnancy, never to wear again. And I won't have to watch my belly button disappear and it won't feel like my lungs have shriveled into the size of peas and they can only hold enough air to make it up three steps, not a whole flight. And I won't even mind having a baby and a two-year old because I won't be nesting because I won't be pregnant. And that would be nice.

Can the baby come now?

My due date is getting close. I'm getting really excited but not for the baby. Having a baby sort of scares me. I'm really excited to get to exercise again without gasping for air or getting cramps in my hips, calves, stomach, etc. I'd also LOVE to sleep on my back. I'm not expecting to get a lot of sleep but I sure will cherish what I do get if I can sleep on my back.

At my doctor's appointment on Tuesday I was 2cm dialated. How long can someone stay that dialated? Probably a long time. And I'm having contractions but they more just feel like PMS cramps. That is one thing I have not missed while being pregnant. Now I get to have them and be pregnant? This stinks. Being pregnant was nice. Now I'm done. Can the baby come now?

Mandatory Exertion Decrease

I've voluntarily put myself on pseudo-couch rest. What is this? It is as lazy as I can get without officially being on bed rest.

The temperature here is already climbing in to the 90s. I'm hot. I sip at ice cold water with loads of ice (and I normally HATE ice) all day long just to feel some sort of cold refreshment. I've been s...l...o...w...l...y packing up our belongings for our move in a few weeks (we close on our house on the 23rd!) and after putting a few items in a box, I have to sit down. Then I put a few more in and have to sit down. Then I tape up the box and have to sit down. I'm absolutely pooped.

My favorite event of the past few weeks has been grocery shopping. I get up and shower and then head to the store before eating lunch. I know that grocery shopping on an empty stomach is like the number one shopping sin but I'm not really in my right mind. I cannot be held accountable. So while I'm at the grocery store, my blood sugar starts to drop and I start getting shaky. Then I start feeling super hot. So I hurry up with my shopping and rush out to the car where I rip open the most sugar filled item I've just purchased (lately there have been many to choose from) and down it with hopes that it will be metabolized before I become the pregnant woman who passed out it the Fry's parking lot. This whole scenario has happened twice. I know I should have learned my lesson the first time and eaten before I went to the store, but like I said, I am not in my right mind. I just figured the first time was a fluke.

Being nauseous for three months was quite a challenge. This new development of my mind thinking I can do something but my body not being able to rise to the occasion is sort of trippy. I've always been super active and able to do so much. In the gym, I would strive to have each workout be the hardest I have every had. Lately, my workout of putting the dishes away is taking its toll. Being pregnant is so weird!

Most of my dreams lately have taken place in a gym. I guess I'm excited for the time when I can physically push myself again. For now though, I will keep my activity to a minimum. During our upcoming move it's going to be hard to just sit back and not do anything. Maybe it's a good thing I'm not physically able. Like now. I'm not physically able to keep typing because my fingers and starting to shake and my arms feel a little numb. Why is this? Because it's time for lunch and my body is letting me know. I wish I could go back to a grumbling stomach. It was so much better.

Yeah Right!

So Giada De Laurentiis recently gave birth to her daughter. Congrats for her but I am so disturbed by a couple of things.

*The announcement that Giada was expecting was shared on the Today show on November 5, 2007 (I happened to be watching on this day and was glad to hear about someone else who was expecting)

*She said she was due in early April. This means that at the time of her announcement, she would have been about 20 weeks along (5 months?)

*When she made her announcement she said, “I have to say I kind of understand how he’s been feeling, because the last four months, I’ve been feeling that way” (making reference to Matt Lauer's seasickness). She says that she's only four months along. How is she due in early April then?

*Her baby weighed only 5 lbs 3oz. That weight is typical of a 35 week fetus. Does this mean she delivered a whole month early?

I'm so distracted by the fact that she supposedly carried a baby full term and yet it only weighs 5 lbs. I feel like I'm being tricked! How is this possible?

Discussion Boards:

I have two topics to which I would like to pose for discussion.

First, how much were your out of pocket costs for delivering a baby? I'm trying to get as prepared as I can before this baby comes.

Second, how do you feel about vaccinating your children? Are you worried about what people are saying about the tie between vaccines and autism? How did you come to your decision?

Okay. Comment away. Make some good points for me to think about. Help me make up my mind- you know how hard that can be while pregnant.

Ode to Deliciousness

THERE ARE SO MANY

HERE ARE A FEW



Maybe I'm hungry.

Pregnant Belly

It's a Girl

That's right! We found out today that we're having a girl.

She has a head and a spine and a stomach and all the normal things... like a scary skeletal face.

We are open to name suggestions. Currently, the winners are:

Cinderella (from 5 year old nephew)

Dondalachelle (Don-DA-LA-shell) (from my SO funny brothers)

Little Sister Love Joy (from Tyler's brother)

We're both excited and a bit overwhelmed. It seems real now. Thank goodness she's healthy. I was worried I'd taken showers that were too hot or had one too many Dr. Peppers or been infected with the dangerous lysteria those times I ate Subway. Goes to show that I shouldn't have been reading What to Expect When You're Expecting. They should call it Everything That Could Possibly Go Wrong While You're Pregnant. I guess I can start calling it a her, now.

Pregnancy Sucks

I am not a happy pregnant woman. I think I thought I would be. I'd be a cute mom-to-be in cute maternity clothes and I'd never have morning sickness and my biggest problem would be choosing a name for my perfect baby to be.

Wow, was I dumb. Being pregnant stinks. First, before I even got sick with the morning sickness I wasn't going to have, I had to stop my laser hair removal treatments. If you know me, you know I hate hair. It's been my dream to have laser hair removal for years and now that we are in Phoenix, I'd found a great place with awesome prices that refuses to laser pregnant women. So, all the progress I'd made is for not as all my hair has grown back- plus some. And, as I look at the picture I downloaded to put with this blog, I notice that she has a lot of hair on her belly. I don't have that and I best not have that EVER! Oh, being pregnant stinks.

The reason I'm really hating pregnancy though has to do with my ability to feel queasy while pregnant. I spent all of my second and third months feeling nauseated but never throwing up. This gross sickness (that happened only at night and lasted all night long) finally went away, I had hoped for good.

For the past three days I've been sick again. I feel like my stomach is all in knots and waiting to just do something. It just aches. And, I'm discovering the pain associated with heartburn. Last night I was finally able to get an hour of sleep when I was awoken by the worst burning sensation right under my sternum. After sitting up, it subsided a bit, leading me to believe it's heartburn. And, gross as it is, I think it's possible to be constipated with diarrhea. Everything from my shoulders to my hips hurts. Oh, being pregnant sucks.

And, to top it all off, I have a cold and cough and sound like crap. My face has been broken out for four months straight and I've lost 15 pounds since getting pregnant because of my aversion to food. I used to love food. Now I hate it. I think my body is mad at me for getting pregnant.

**UPDATE**: I think I have food poisoning. We ate Chinese food on Monday (the start of all my ailments) and I was the only one who ate soup. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not starting a new cycle of morning sickness. Food poisoning I can get over.

Pregnant Looks

Why is it that when someone finds out I'm expecting, they
immediately look at my stomach? Are they trying to see how fat I've gotten? Are they looking for proof that I'm telling the truth? Do they do it because they can't help it? Do they think that they have super-stealthlike abilities and can afford a quick looky without me noticing?

I suppose at some point people are going to start touching my belly, too. Won't that just be super.